Why do I always have to be the one that starts to do laundry and there’s no
detergent?  Well, I guess it was time for me to do my store run, which
included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags and Clorox. So off I go.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies, and headed for the
checkout counter only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man that
appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn’t in a hurry, so I patiently
waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his
hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, “Mommy, I’m over
here.”

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged, and also startled as he
turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by.  His
eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, “Hey Buddy,
what’s your name?”

“My name is Denny and I’m shopping with my mother,” he responded proudly.
“Wow,” I said, “that’s a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name
is Hal.”

“Hal, like Halloween?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered. “How old are you Denny?”

“How old am I now, Mommy?” he asked his mother as she slowly came over from
the next aisle.  ”You’re fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let
the man pass by.”

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes
about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with
excitement because he was the center of someone’s attention. He then
abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny’s mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the
time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn’t even look
at him, much less talk to him. I told her that it was my pleasure and then
I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the
prompting of the Holy Spirit.

I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow and pink roses in God’s
garden, however, “Blue Roses” are very rare and should be appreciated for
their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if
someone doesn’t stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that
rose with their kindness, then they’ve missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, “Who
are you?”

Without thinking I said, “Oh, I’m probably just a dandelion but I sure love
living in God’s garden.”

Please the next time you see a BLUE ROSE don’t turn your head and walk off,
take the time to smile and say Hello. Because by the grace of GOD this
mother could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece, nephew.
What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.

From an old dandelion

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.. Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

Writing Acknowledgment and Ruby’s Bequest

In Deepwell, they have a bit of a situation. A woman named Ruby Wood has left the town some money in her will, but to get the money they have to make their town a more caring place. It turned out to be much harder to do than it sounds and they’re under the gun to get it done. Many don’t even have no idea who Ruby Wood was!

The website is putting the information about Ruby and her Bequest online so that (1) everyone in the town can follow along and (2) we can get advice from people outside our town about what best to do. Time moves so quickly and so much is going on in the world – we hope this website will gather all the useful bits in one place.

There are a few hundred stories with ideas of how to care and changes that can be made. There is still a little time to contribute, the project ends April 10, 2009. I have contributed some ideas and stories. I am “Jan” in Deepwell, just as I am Jan everywhere else! You can read my stories here.

This website is a creative way to share ideas of caring and what individuals can do. There are many ideas for those who are disabled and in need. I hope you will check out Ruby’s Bequest and please contribute your story if you can before it ends. If you don’t want to write, you can still be a friend of Deepwell.

The blog has a simple and bright design. In addition to saving money on utility bills you will finding ways to save money on transportation, shopping, housing, debts, and much more on the blog, 365 Ways to Save Money. As the blog grows, group home staff should look at 365 Ways to Save Money for money saving ideas for group home residents to save money when they are shopping for clothes or other items.

Saving money in the group home will allow more funds to be available for fun activities with group home residents. For residents that have limited income the more we can learn to help them to stretch their income, the better.

Though some are hopeful and excited that change has come, there are others who are fearful that it won’t. Obama may not be able to keep his campaign promises to the disabled community,  group home staff, group home providers, family members of disabled citizens, and others who provide services for the disabled can become active, can unite, and make the changes Barack Obama promised for the disabled a reality. It really comes down to individuals in their own communities to make a difference.

Here are some of the promises that Obama made to the disabled citizens of our nation:

• Provide educational opportunities needed to succeed to disabled citizens
• End discrimination against our nations citizens with disabilities
• Promote equal opportunities for disabled citizens
• Increase the employment rate of workers with disabilities
• Support independent and community-based living for disabled citizens

As group home support staff you may have little impact on what happens in the White House, but you have tremendous impact on what happens in the group home that you work in. Look over the above list, is there a campaign promise that is close to your heart, like community-based living? Start looking into how you can start to make a real difference in the lives of the disabled in the group home that you work in and the lives of the disabled in your community.

Brainstorm with others that care about change, create a plan, and then take action. Include higher functioning disabled group home residents and physically disabled group home residents. Empower them to make changes for themselves. For the lower functioning group home residents, include them by bringing them along to meetings and events. Advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves.

We can sit back on this historic day and wait for our new president to make change or as group home support staff we can make history in our community by actively becoming involved in change that will make a difference for our group home residents.

If I this blog has provided useful information to you and you have the funds to help support Jan’s Group Home Support Blog, I have provided an easy way for you to do that. If you are unable to provide financial support of Jan’s Group Home Support Blog, please help out the blog by passing along its web address to those who can benefit from it.

There will be no threats of this group home support blog coming down without donations, the donation button is just there as a convenience for those who want to help support the blog.

Group home support staff should not fill in as family. It can be nice to include group home residents in their family celebration (per permission from guardian and group home service provider), but it shouldn’t be the only holiday celebration that the group home residents participate in. The reason is that when the group home support staff leaves, the resident often goes through a similar grieving process as loosing a family member. Even lower functioning residents will feel a loss even if they can’t express it verbally. Often the feeling of loss will be expressed with acting out and unacceptable behaviors. Traditions with other group homes are much more stable since the group home service provider is and the residents in the group homes are fairly consistent, unlike group home support staff.

Most service providers provide a holiday parties for their residents. These are usually fun for the staff and residents. They do lack a family feel to them. Two to four group homes can get together an create their own “family group” and create traditions for the holidays to give the group home residents a sense of family around the holidays.

Here are some group home traditions suggestions:

GIFT EXCHANGE:

Most group home residents are allowed some extra money around Christmas. Have a group of residents put their names in a jar and then pick out a name to buy gifts for. This can be done at Thanksgiving. This allows the residents to enjoy a shopping experience and the joy of giving.

For teen group home residents or other residents that enjoy the “Santa” experience. Half the money can be used to make sure there is a gift from Santa under the tree in the morning and the other half can go for the exchange.

Some residents may not have money for Christmas gifts and some group home service providers will donate money for the group home residents. Even five or ten dollars can provide some usable gifts from the local dollar store.

Be sure the receipts go to the group home manager of the resident who the gifts are bought FOR. In the event of an audit, that group home will be responsible to show what that residents money is spent on.

HOLIDAY MEAL

When deciding which group home in the family group will host the holiday meal, it can be done by the house that is the biggest and can accommodate a large group, rotating group homes, or each house has their own holiday that they host (one house always has Christmas, another house always has Thanksgiving, etc).

The holiday meal can include traditional foods for the holiday in addition to cultural dishes that represent the residents. The host home should have the main course (Turkey, ham, etc.) when doing a potluck. If one home will provide the entire meal, the cost should be split up among all the homes in the family group of group homes.

Let the residents get together for a movie night or at the park and plan the menu.

Often early afternoon meals work best. The group home residents may have difficulties waiting for an evening meal and be more tired. Less behaviors occur with early afternoon meals. Residents should have their usual breakfast and have the holiday meal around lunch time. This will also give time for residents to wind down before beginning their evening routine before going to bed.

DECORATIONS

Homemade decorations and decorations from the dollar store can create a festive atmosphere for group homes. When funds are limited, focus on what is seen from the front door of the group home. It is that first impression from the front door that give a group home the feeling of being a home and not just another house. It may be where the group home support staff work, but it is primarily the group home residents HOME.

Keep in mind the uniqueness of the residents in the home and always consider safety and durability of the the decorations that are used.

Have a box or inexpensive plastic box to store decorations in. Adding a few new decorations each year will provide for a nice collection of decorations for a group home. Clearly mark the boxes and store them in the order that the holidays occur to locate easily.

HOUSE LOG

For group homes that have a house log in addition to their site log, the traditions should be included. The holiday traditions for the home in addition to the holiday traditions for the group home family group should be include. Each residents favorite holiday foods and traditions can be included. Traditions can be lost with group home support staff changes and group home manager changes.

Group house support staff should not try to be group home resident’s family because when staff changes a resident could feel like they not only lost a staff but part of their family. Creating group home family groups gives the group home residents a family experience that many of them miss out on.

To me she is a role model of what a woman can do with a family. I felt sad when I read that she hid her pregnancy the first two trimesters due to concern over public opinion. As the public, we should be ashamed! do we still expect women to stay home pregnant and barefoot? What century are we in? The media should leave her family alone and let her have her children with her without being attacked and judged by the media. After news report after news report tells us our children are in crisis. Social services have so many reports of abuse and children in the system, children are at risk in their care. Here we have an example of a woman who not only is highly accomplished and a mom, she is a mom of a disabled child

I love her quote when someone brought up her son’s disability, “Who in this room has a perfect child?” As a parent of a disabled child she is in a great position to continue to cut services that are not producing results and funnel that money into programs that are providing help and support for disabled citizens and their family.

Even if Sarah Palin isn’t our vice-president come November, I hope she continues to be in the public eye to be a role model for families with a disabled child. I hope she finds a place she can do good for the disabled in the US.

First remember that a group home is a HOME first and a place of business second.

To help group home residents know where things go after use your can provide the following:

• Photographs and/or lists of what goes in a cabinet (use the inside of the cabinet door), inside containers, on laundry room shelves, cleaning closets, shelves, etc. If the picture or list can be posted discreetly do so. If not have a book that the group home resident can refer to.

• Have the residents have their own personal care basket with a handle or bag to keep their things in. This is important for sanitary reasons and for financial reasons.

• Have the group home support staff model appropriate organization.

• Organize the group home residents rooms and closets.

• Create routines of getting activity supplies, games, clothes, etc that include keeping things organized. The repetition will help group home residents develop organization skills so they will not need constant prompting.

• Get rid of clutter. Things that aren’t used or their are duplicates of can be given to other group homes that may need the item. It is easier to stay organized if their isn’t a lot of unused stuff to constantly put away.

• Have a shelf or closet for paperwork to be secured and organized. Paperwork will be more likely accurately filled out if organized and easy to find. Use notebooks to organize paperwork so that it is all together for the group home staff to fill out.

Once a group home is organized, if everyone spends a few minutes a shift to keep it organized, there will be less times searching for things and cleaning up messes. Organized group homes allow for more time to spend with the residents.